Fit like Aiberdeen! Hiya pals! This is Alan McHugh
and Jordan Young And I've got my special panto guest star with
me today, starring my blacked out panto tooth And I've got a very special panto double act,
my wee rosy cheeks Aww, that's awfy nice son. We're here today performing, delighted to
be performing some of our HMT panto greatest hits routines on behalf of the wonderful Charlie
House charity and today I'm going to be performing in front of, or should I say even on, the
Cinderella village set, the village of Aberdonia from last year's panto
Lovely set! And I'm very lucky, I'm going to be performing
in front of my favourite panto set which is Sleeping Aladdin Beauty Mother Goose Cinderella
Snow White Goldilocks and the Three Bears Jack and the Beanstalk and of course that
other famous one Babes in the Wood.
Ah, are you suggesting it's a one set fits
all generic panto set that we're using? Mammy never would those words come out of
my mouth! No, I know, it's funny that because that's
how I think of your characters, it's the same character every year regardless of the show. It's the same character in whatever I play,
whether I'm in panto or no! I know, I fully expected you to say 'pot,
kettle, black' about my characters as well! Your nuanced different dame every year.
Exactly, the only thing that's different is
the costumes. Anyway listen, enough of this nonsense, we're
still in lockdown, we hope you're doing OK. But listen we've been in lockdown so long
boys and girls, there's a danger that when we come oot of lockdown you might have forgotten
your way around all the villages in Aberdeenshire. So we're gonna give you a wee crash course
on all the places and the folk that bide there. Right, so listen carefully because your toon
or village might get a mention. So they are nice in Dyce and odd in Maud and
'dull as' oot in Tullos. They're iffy in Drumlithie and they're gritty
doon in Fittie. They're cranky oot in Banchory, immoral in
Balmoral, and they're cheery oot in Torphins overdosing on endorphins. They're aff their heid in Peterheid and they're
rough up in Macduff, they're affa rude in Stoneywood and crude in Cruden Bay.
They tell folk all your business at the Temple
oot in Fiddes and they go and spread their muck in all the toons in Banff and Buchan. Och the loons are cool in Tomintoul and funny
in Kildrummy, they're thrawn in Strachan and far beyond and chicken oot in Strichen, they're
raving in Stonehaven and they're smelling oot in Ellon, and they look like one another
in the Broch, that's Fraserburgh. Don't go oot after dusk in Cammachmore or
Monymusk, or get left oot in Portlethen that's a place you'll catch your death in. And if you dinnae like insults, believe me,
dinnae go to Cults cause the locals telt the lot of us that we should get to…Fochabers
Oh that was a bit close, I thought you were gonna say something else there son. I nearly did! Moving swiftly on, you're sure to find a fecht
in the village of Dunecht, you'll get duffed in up in Dufftown and get battered oot in
Ballater.
They're neddy in Balmedie and you might get
chinned in Findon, if you want to see a murder hitch a lift tae Aberchirder. They like a heavy bevvy in the toon of Inverbervie
and they all smell like a brewery on the streets of Inverurie. And they cannae ride their scooters when they're
blootered oot in Culter, and when they tak tae drinking they get mingin oot in Finzean,
hic. The weather's nae the best in Auchenblae and
Auchterless, it's ay raining dugs and cats in Udny Green and Auchnagatt. There's a haar oot in Braemar and it's dour
in Aberlour, and the sunshine's pretty keech in Hazleheid and Insch and Keith.
There's a couthy place that I go when I'm
doon frae New Pitsligo. It's a cafe oot in Crathie where a wifie who's
frae Fyvie serves ye scones frae Tillydrone, or is it scauns from Bridge of Don? And they're baked by Anne and Audrey, born
and bred beside Pittodrie. Mon the Dons! Noo things are getting drastic for the seagulls
oot in Mastrick, cause they're killing aff the gulls frae Balnagask tae Ferryhill. And they're shootin all the scurries oot the
blue skies over Buckie, and the gulls are awfy sullen since the seagull cull in Cullen. The best girls in the nation are the ones
frae Udny Station, and you're never on a loser if she comes frae Kittybrewster. There's some beauts in Petercoots, I ken a
cracker frae Newmachar, and a bonnie fermer's daughter, she's a stoatir frae Dunotter. You're never ever tire of the girls frae the
Shire. That's the lasses oot in Crathes and the quinies
oot in Rhynie, and you'll never find a fault in any quine that comes frae Altens.
You can haud them oot in Boddam, keep 'em
warm in Rothienorman. The fermers never shirk in the fields of Laurencekirk,
and they work all night by lantern at the farmin' oot in Tarland. They really knock their pan in at the lambin'
in Lumphanan and in Alford, oh they're grafters, but in Muchalls they do f… Frankly no very much at all son! That was a bit close for comfort. So that's a few of Aiberdeenshire's villages
and toons. And they're full o fermers, fishermen and
bairns and quines and loons And nae matter where you're been a finer sight
you've never seen than the Northern lights of old Aberdeen! Taxi! Before we go I'm not sure if we were at all
in sync there because we're miles away from each other in different toons and could be
singing at a different time, who knows if it's in sync, but that all proves it's live.
However me no being in time singing, is that
no just identical to me singing on stage wi ye? Yeah, no being in time or singing in tune,
you're ticking all the boxes! Right, we're away, see you's later, taxi! Bye pals!.
