to give you a little backstory I tried
my first jiu-jitsu class last week and during the rolling part of the class
happened to get matched up with another white belt who has been going to the gym
for over a year during the roll I got thrashed around a bit and tapped to what
I've been told was called a cross collar choke I ended up getting gee burns on my
neck and my face as well as getting my lips Plitt having trained Muay Thai
inspired for a couple of years I'm used to physical pain and that's and that
didn't exactly bother me what did bother me was marks that that were left on my
face which in addition to just not looking good I can't have because my job
requires that I mean with clients face to face and these clients might make
judgments and assume I was in a street fight I also think the white belt I was
rolling with went a little too hard on me
but I don't know enough about jiu-jitsu to determine whether or not people go
full-speed every role I know that in Muay Thai boxing in boxing normally we
try to tone down the intensity level for newbies especially the first time they
spar so my questions are one does Jiu Jitsu normally leave you with lots of
marks or scrapes on your face I don't mind occasionally getting them
but can't go home with them after every class that's it or first question second
question do people normally go full-speed enrolling and if not how do I
get him to stop without sounding like a giant wimp okay so number one does BJJ
normally leave you with lots of marks or scrapes on your face the answer is no
not normally will you occasionally yes you will actually you will get dinged up
you'll get black eyes you'll split your lip you'll have get Barnes on your face
yet scratchy yeah that that'll that's gonna happen it's but it's not regular
yeah it's not regular it's what do you think once every three weeks on your
face a neck yeah once every three weeks or once a maybe once a month you have
something visible while you're wearing a suit presenting to clients given the
normal amount of training you know like trainer training wants to trade up
competitive you know mode two times a day
is than a door of course the yeah it's more but normal training yeah and then
the next question is do people normally go full-speed enrolling and if not how
do I get him to stop without sounding like a giant limp so this is actually
funny because if you think about it think about this he's kind of
complaining in a way that the other person was going too hard right yes and
yet he didn't tap to this until his face was scraped and got flashed around so
what I'm saying is it takes two people to escalate a situation and without
knowing it he escalated the situation because he
resisted as hard as he could he's only been training for a day and he's gone
when they're fighting like crazy instead of just relaxing and being like well hey
you know I've only been I've never trained before oh you're gonna choke me
out cool yeah you know instead of learning and relaxing you you allow
yourself to get caught up in the primal instinct of fighting for your life which
is what happens when people start you do to the primal instinct takes over and
it's also ego and and the will to win it takes over and they just want to go so
hard and they can't believe that this little guys jokingly they're not gonna
let it happen so that is actually your ego and and it is also your ego and I
tell people all the time one of the main reasons people get hurt in jujitsu it's
because of ego and you either don't tap number one which is just stupid or you
you don't say no to rolling with people that you know you shouldn't roll with
that's it and when I say don't tap it's like it has to do with with the way
you're rolling too right I mean if you're just gonna fight everything so
super hard because you wanna win well then you're gonna end up having a much
higher chance of getting injured so I fall into that sometimes too you
know if I'm like I had a hurt knee the other day and you know maybe like a
month ago my knee was a little hurt and I was rolling but I hadn't been doing a
lot of stand-up and all of a sudden I was escalating with whoever
like Andy or someone and all of a sudden I was standing and I didn't want to give
up the position right and as I'm standing there I'm like oh this is your
ego right now you you you have no reason to sit here and fight on the feet where
your where your knee is actually bothering you just don't be an idiot and
just pull guard and and so no big deal right okay pull guard it's what whatever
did you pull guard I did yeah cuz I was realized I was being stupid and if I'm
there I am I've been healing and I'm almost good to go and now I'm gonna
jeopardize it because I just I want to stand up and get something right a
little stupid yeah stupid so that is what you have to do you have to put your
ego in check and that is a huge part of jiu-jitsu that's one of the things that
makes jujitsu so impactful is it's so humbling your ego can't withstand it and
despite how hard you fought against this guy in this question that guy was still
gonna tap you oh you didn't stand a chance you didn't stand a chance yeah my
first class versus the guy who'd been rolling for over a year over a year yeah
you don't stand a chance you don't stand a chance you don't so what what you want
to do is you want to learn so put your ego aside relax talk and if you get to
someone that's going so you don't want to sound like a wimp
that's what gets you hurt what's cool isn't when somebody's 58 years old and
they're on the mat and some some 22 year old blue belt that weighs 80 pounds more
than them says there's one roll and the the older
dude says nah man I'm good I'm not rolling with you because their ego is in
check yeah and they realize that's not gonna get him anywhere yeah rolling with
this big idiot yeah that's not gonna get him anywhere so they say no I don't know
with you their ego is fine they get they're over it yeah so put your ego in
check you won't get marked up a lot and people people will go full-speed if
you're going full-speed that's the answer the harder you go the harder the
other person's going yeah I want to go in there and get to a level seven
deathmatch with every person you roll with you're gonna get them yeah you're
gonna get them especially with people that are around your level yeah because
if the person is a purple belt or a brown belt or a black belt
you can go nuts on them it doesn't even matter to them
is gonna be laughing at you although you can you can offend them and I seen some
black belts and some good juju jiu-jitsu practitioners that get offended if
someone attacks them with fury like they have a chance and you go okay cool you
want to be like that I'm gonna smash you and I've done that from time to time you
know where someone just there they're in there they're like they think it's their
day or whatever and they think they're gonna get you you know your own you're
not gonna get me but now you've now you're gonna get got yeah it's not gonna
be fun yeah that tends to happen though not if you're well within the confines
of just jujitsu stuff like um but if you start to drift towards the edges of
etiquette so like let's say like if I'm if you know I'm gonna spar with you and
today is my day and I start stiff-arming you hard and doing that kind of stuff
stuff that's it's legal but it's like for sure you shouldn't you know it's
like that kind of stuff that'll make a higher belt mad I think whatever you are
kept in your crack just someone going just someone going level 9 psycho yeah
instead of just being oh you you want to roll
hey cool you hey we're gonna use strength I get that I get that we're
gonna use strength that's the way it works that's part of the game that's why
we work out right yeah I get that we're gonna go fast I get that that's cool but
you want to just go level 9 psycho cool that's it's not gonna work out good yeah
and this Cruz man have a good time yeah nothing wrong with that I'm a huge
advocate of cruising for sure um but I'm I'm I support like guys going hard it's
for sure even like young guys I mean like where we're this day but but the
thing is this guy's saying how does he stop it yeah the way you stop it is by
relaxing yeah I'm a full support of people going
hard yeah you know and I go hard Yeah right I go I guess you're right yeah I
mean I train hard for sure but um like if I don't know you yeah and you want to
just go level 9 oh well go level 9 yeah but you know
yeah it's all it's all the the spectrum of jiu-jitsu and also I get it though
like you know he doesn't want marks all over his face all the time for I mean to
me you don't even have to say because the work you just say I don't want marks
all over my neck in my face all the time you know that's work because that's
actually what I do it's cool but you know like okay so I
don't wear mouthpiece anymore so every once in a great while like I'll bite my
tongue and then you can't eat for a few days not that good yeah it's or you ever
get your job you can't eat no it's hurt see catch yes the next question valid
with Italian justice but or if you get like a jaw like this is what I'll get
their common one you'll get your job whacked like money or something
obviously dental son hurts real bad yeah so you can't bite down on that yeah so
you kind of can't eat for like a week you gotta drink through a straw
anyway um but so yeah I get it but just like how you said man it's that ego and
I'm in support of ego it's kind of what gives jiu-jitsu and doing jiu-jitsu its
bluster really the guy like guy coin like what if I roll with you and I tap
you up but you were not going hard at all I don't want to do that I'd rather
get tapped out by you every single time then tap you out when you weren't going
hard as far as like my jujitsu yeah journey kind of thing yeah but but at
the same time like bro if you don't want that beef if you don't want to go with
some big guy going hard Brad just say sorry bro I mean no disrespect sir it is
not disrespecting the guy like you know how you I've asked people to roll and I
know I may be a little bit more big or whatever then like the average guy right
so I'll ask someone to roll and they they won't even answer they'll just look
away straight up look away and I'm like okay
I really got to kind of understand okay maybe they just don't want that beef and
they don't know how to say it to me respectfully you know I've never had
anyone like look away that's weird yeah I had a time you asked them I okay
I asked a guy to roll and he acted like he didn't hear me and looked away I went
to the next guy of standing up to maybe that kind of helped didn't help my
situation but whatever I asked the guy right next to him same exact thing he
acted like oh he was kind of in a conversation and then all I mean I got a
little bit frustrated I said so no one want no one's rolling here that's what
that's what we're doing everyone think I know them and then like someone wrong
that's mean you think whatever but being timid no but here's the thing is the
thing of course at the time it's a little bit frustrating and this is kind
of part of the point where if they didn't want to role because maybe
whatever I was too big and they were like small or something like that then
you can tell the guy hey look respectfully like I don't want to roll
with you I fear injury I fear whatever I fear marks on my face or whatever right
no problem I dig it and I understand even if
there's no stall or you're saying have the respect to tell you the truth that's
the thing is your needs the little pomp of like they're scared of you that's
that's the thing though like that's what you have to in my opinion you have to
address like any other things the other thing about this not because I may have
the that being said like if someone wants to roll with you if you're a
healthy human being man get it on that's you know what I'm saying that's what I
was saying and I get it if you have a situation and this is one that I need to
I always have to watch out for like if I haven't let's say I'm injured and let's
say I normally do 10 rounds 9 rounds 8 rounds like that's
my normal training and hey and when I'm injured I'll be like okay I'm only gonna
do like four rounds we're gonna do five rounds but then someone's like let's get
one more yeah and that's the hardest thing for me is to say no because my
instinct all the time is like awesome wants to roll let's do it let's do it
just get it on with me let's get it on yeah so in I yeah again this is all part
of it in to and this is a total opinion or philosophy or whatever but yeah
that's how it should be that's what I think dude that's how it should be you
know like if I asked you to roll and you're just sitting there during the
rolling spot part of training and you're just sitting there essentially waiting
for someone to ask you to roll really that's what it is right you know and
you'd like turn your head then why are you here like you're only gonna roll
with you ask you to roll and I was like hey man I got a tweet me I can't roll
anymore today metal you're good with that yeah a hundred percent you go home
and I that isn't winning yeah yeah second I
would do 100% but yes no I'm talking about being selective with who you roll
like I won't roll with him because he'll tap me out I won't roll with you that's
total he goes hard and I'll get tired office people yeah okay
and again that's like your philosophy and I agree with that but if you're like
being selective like that guy's too big and advanced he might mess me up
look if you're if you're concerned about actual injury that's one thing but if
you're like like basically the situation that I explained those in and this is
what this is what I think given all the all the information I kind of gathered
from the situation they didn't want to roll with me cuz I was maybe I don't
know big or intimidating were you hire belts than them yes that's really weird
death no but see and that's what I thought too I was like well maybe if
you're a lower belt if you're a lower belt and you're smaller you have
absolutely nothing no shame in getting tapped out by a dude that's a higher
belt than you fucking my brother in DJ did you do a breath check before you
went in there or something maybe a key check maybe he just smelled really bad
no one want to roll with you oh yeah because the fact is I did do those
checks I do them every single time that's why I know but I talked to my
brother and great about this yeah I was like I was trying to be understanding
you know but at put the first part of the comedy law with Greg dream oh no I
don't think Greg was there Greg train you might you might you might
underestimate Greg train you might be like I'll just flow with this little guy
nah you see his ears you're like I like the next day or something so I don't
think weren't there but so Greg was saying the same thing as used like no no
you don't do that stuff why are you even here that yeah but Jay brought up a good
point he said well it doesn't matter why you think they should be there they're
there they pay their membership and they're there to learn jujitsu they have
the right to train with whoever they want and they have the right to not
train with whoever they don't want you ain't Charles with the free will right
it's true and that but that that very thing applies to this car in casting
etiquette out the window Jay drills right yeah and that's kind of
the counter argument which is legitimate by the way there is the etiquette of the
mats it's like right it's if you go to a 24-hour Fitness gym or
whatever you're the guy you're not I mean now nowadays they have a Sciences
rear echo weights but you know there's certain things that you just you just
got to do for the etiquette you know you know uh-huh
do you know Akbar yeah of course ok Akbar yeah he's a beast right and he
fights at 155 so he'd walk around at 170 strong yeah and not scared ish not to
you that scared but you know he and I would have horse horse tonal Wars every
single time mayhem and we had a pact always is that I will roll with you no
matter what yeah and I don't what is going on I'll roll with you and it was
always like he'd come in for me it was you know I'd roll in from either work or
I'd be done training with a bunch of people and then he'd show up or for him
it was he'd be done with like a crazy sparring session but yet so I was I
always told him no matter what I'll roll with you because and the reason I told
him that is because I didn't want to roll with him yeah because it was always
freaking hardcore and was always because he moved all the time and he was so
strong and so fast and bony any submissions are savage and he was a guy
like I didn't want to roll with him and that's exactly what I made it back of
money I would always roll with it yeah yeah because it is it's a siege to
roll with it and there's guys like that and you know like you know it's funny
you know Taylor and Andy by the way they're like that if you make it like
that but if you don't well you might be different because you're kind of in a
different position but when you roll with them if you start to go light
they'll just go like the whole time by the way but if I turn up the heat
they'll turn on the heat but yeah that's that's a big thing where like some guys
man you're like okay I got to get mentally ready to do this you know
because they just bring a lot yeah and depends how your game matches up with
them yeah you know your game matches differently with different people yeah
that's true too big-time but yeah let's get this this
guy you know does it normally leave you with lots of marks not really I think
you're right and but the more the more you know ambitious hungry white belts
you roll with with the yeah yeah the more marks and the more
yeah more your ego forces you to fight them as if it's a death match yeah level
9 yeah yeah very true and then do people go full-speed
you know what 5050 maybe well yes like can you cruise like I always do won't
warm up on warm up round with Andy no no with Andy and Dean Dean won't do a warm
up around with me because that's when it's in full strength
D and E is awesome and we always do one round just to break a sweat we're just
cruising and then the next round will go and when we go I mean we go I guess
maybe there's some gradation at the high end of the spectrum and I will recognize
a difference between that like let's say for instance you say like I'll know I
don't want to let any pass my guard today right like for referred like a
legit reason like I think he's got some new offensive move that I see him been
pulling off and I go what if he gets this position on me today I'm gonna be
in a real bad situation so he's not passed my card so then he'll feel like
I'm going harder yeah because a lot of times you pass my guard okay cool
whatever now you're across side now try and escape that what you know what I
mean it's it's that's like when you're competing when you're when someone is
competing with you in jujitsu especially with the key it's so noticeable in a
competition how hard they grip everything and how you can't get a
millimeter of movement yeah dad you don't have to fight for yeah you can't
simulate that in you can't simulate that level of intensity yeah on the mats that
only comes to competition yeah yeah sure on the training mats but in a way and I
talked to Craig about this a lot where it's kind of you know how like someone's
being super stubborn like what the day I was talking to him this is what I was
talking about like the guy who you get a sweet bottom or something and they don't
it's almost like they're not even fighting jiu-jitsu anymore they just
want to get to their feet in standup they don't want to play on the bottom
right these guy so I was talking at him about that in that it was kind of
frustrating or whatever and he was like hey bro like that's like that's kind of
his job yeah like give you an accurate representation of somebody giving you
trouble in whatever way I was about to tell that's the same thing that Jade
Charles said like if that guy if you allow that guy to get your feet
it's bad as a matter of fact I went through this cycle of Dien where I
realized that I wasn't giving Dean a good representation because every time
he had some good guard passes that he would do from a little bit of a distance
and and they were working well and then I said well why don't I just stand up
yeah and so then I just started standing up and then all of a sudden he realized
he couldn't give me that much space which messed up that guard pass which
put us back to both getting better because we were improving the techniques
that we were each using so yeah sometimes now have you ever rolled with
someone that you they're just not doing gee there they are they're just they're
just not engaging Yeah right they're not engaged yeah and that could be that can
be a little bit frustrating yes and sometimes I do that yeah but that's part
of an overall strategy but yeah oh yeah 100% like the guy the guy was nothing
because and again this goes back to why you're doing jiu-jitsu to begin with
though so let's say if you're if you're doing it like to compete in a tournament
a guy not engaging that's part of your training right there – yeah that is but
if you're like you know if this is the fight and you know if you like all
elements and let's say you're focusing on like a self-defense situation and the
guy's not engaging then yeah you might as well be like I'm yeah I might as well
train it is you're right it is good because also I've gone with like some
wrestlers that they know they're let's say there are a purple belt in jujitsu
and they're doing a five minute round with you and they're just there their
goal is to just avoid and knock it tapped out and they're not really gonna
roll jiu-jitsu with you they're just going to avoid and not get tapped out
I'm not gonna progress like you know they get the double leg now they're in
your guard they're gonna sit there and hold your hips yeah so they're gonna sit
there so for me what I figure I need to have some moves that gets them out of
that situation that it takes a moment like who's strong and doesn't tap you
know so he either forces you to like in Durham or let go kind of thing that's
kind of the same thing where it's it's it's a weird dichotomy though because
like what do you do now now it's kind of up to you you know the guy okay so if it
doesn't tap right and you can't get mad look good you're gonna force me to
injure you you know you have to take that training as
as this realistic training where this guy is giving you a very accurate look
we're sure you can choose to injure them now it's on you
you chose to injure oh sure and whatever you chose you chose especially if he was
giving you less of an option or you just let him go and understand that yeah I
understand accurately gotta be honest with yourself that I would have had that
submission I could have been you know but don't be all mad because no you know
sir you should give me that win in training you know like you know yeah you
gotta you gotta keep your weight but you said who cares come on bro come on I
said I know but value cared though I care what if someone is if someone cuz
one time out the reason I was talking to was talking a great again about it about
a guy was wrong with who didn't want to tap and I was mad because he was forcing
me to either in Durham or he wasn't gonna give me that that win in training
so what'd you do I let him go from one time and big it was a white belt he
started going hard you know how this is just a no no like what what submission
was it I'm talking about another story now I told okay cuz I mean we're just
I'm just saying like more heat the both okay so the the real story talking
that's hockey it not tap into a come here yeah he's strong but um so maybe
you didn't really have it I'm not weak either that's the thing so he's strong
and I'm like okay it's to hear you steer it's here it didn't matter
yeah I knew I knew with certainty where it's like okay I'm gonna have to injure
the person now and you know he didn't have but Greg made a good point where
it's like that's his job you know he's giving you an accurate
look of what it's like so at the end of the day sure I could have chose to
injure him and then it's partially his fault but the thing is I can't account
for whether it's his fault or not I'm accounting for what training I'm getting
by the way what training I'm getting not coming you know it's not a competition
it's down the street switching stories I'll make it quick –
it was a white belt I was wrong with he was going nuts and I took a personal
attack – what we're talking what were you at this time purple so I was taking
it personal is like oh dear you try to go nuts on me like just doing stuff it
was all within the confines of etiquette but he was going to
a bit too hard right later I found out that's just his style by the way which
is a total innocent thing but at that time I was like okay go hard I'm gonna
go hard and I injured um here's the thing I injured him with a submission
because I went Dickie Moore again and not that I did it necessarily so hard
that I hurt him but he had a bad shoulder
yeah it really I think no it's okay I had a bad shoulder I was gonna say I've
never injured anyone with a submission but I have injured a couple people one
of them died injure you yeah my rib man oh yeah but no but I'm
saying with a submission locked in right yeah the the times I've done it is I can
only think of one off the top of my head and it was a guy like you said just a
pre-existing children injury that was like that was like aa tap and then I'm
hurt and then my shoulders back really like bro you're rolling with me yeah
tell me and there's a black belt you know it was like bro come on not a guy
had seen you in a while yeah I just got you know big strong guy yeah
God got the career and I put it on and all of a sudden he's like ha an injured
yeah and and I just said bro and it was I mean I know the complete limitations
of where injury or not and I was not there yet at all yeah and so he's like
yeah I got a bad shoulder I should have told you you know yeah and that's why I
felt really guilty because I did I was like oh you want to go hard so I did it
hard I wasn't trying to hurt him but if he was had a bad shoulder which he did I
understand it hurt him and I that doesn't surprise me that in her oh man I
should I shouldn't went that hard to begin with
as far as like going I know how to do it you more a good yeah and just kind of
clarify my earlier statements like when somebody goes level 9 on me it doesn't
mean I'm like Alto you know I just I just know I just go I just apply level
if there are level 9 I'm gonna apply level nine point one back to them and
put them yeah and actually usually I do something to him that forces them to
calm down like I'll just I'll get across side and
be like mmm keep spazzing keep going nuts right now
I'm just gonna be here we're cruising yeah at level 9.1 but just level 9.1
book completely cruising yeah because they can't move they
they're free talking and going crazy and getting nuts and then you're just
sitting there yeah yeah but yeah I still feel guilty about that day I'll never do
it again
